Thinking is Hard

Doug and I just had our date and we saw this movie. Charlie had told us about it and said it was great especially the Italian part. I do have to agree. I would have loved to hear Charlie's opinion through the Italian part and see him giggle when they spoke Italian...

It's not an action pack movie. It's a movie that makes you think about your life. This women (Julia Roberts, who is amazing!) I think is trying to figure out herself as well as what really is love. I know what is love. I'm married to the love of my life, but I have felt since moving to Ut that I'm still figuring myself out. Some people might ask why? So I asked that question to myself...I looked back at my blogs and didn't realize I blogged before the move. Then I read the blogs during the move and after...it was as if life was taken from me in all directions. My husband had a great job in CO. He put on the best plays that were well known...so why the move, because of students and administration lack of support that eventually kept dwindling down until it took the fun out of teaching. Josh had a fantastic doctor, we had friends that we've known for 15 years...and then in a blink of a couple of months...gone.

The move was fast. It's like I left some part of me in CO and I'm trying to find it here in Ut. But it's not going to happen, so move on...easier said then actually doing. Am I bitter about moving, yes...am I still bitter with the school district and the program my husband built and how they treated my husband and Josh...yes! Friends even change..you wouldn't think it, but they do.

So my question as was Julia's at the end of the movie.... Have I changed?....yes...for the good...I don't know yet...am I finding myself here...trying to...As we drove home and I was quiet, my good husband looks at me and asks, "is there anything I can do, to help you find yourself?" Nope...I'm still finding who I am here. I knew who I was in CO...I lived there most of our married life. I know who I am in the spiritual since, don't get me wrong, but it's like feeling you are in limbo, life isn't quiet where I want it to be...still to many things unsettled.

I know, this is way to deep for me to blog...but I had a moment of hmmmm and I'm still hmmmming about it.