Some day's are just not worth it anymore. My world is not the same and never will be. I don't want to live in this house anymore. Every morning the first thing I see is his room. The family has changed, some good and some not so good. I have no more fight left in me or I just don't care. We've been taught to be patient, to have faith, so ponder and pray....we/I have been doing that for 5 years. It's exhausting. When opportunities do come (which are far and few) it's a substantial loss of income. Is that really an answer? Or do we go through this each year again? I'm at a loss of words. The two opportunities that were set in front of us paid us less. One didn't have the insurance/retirement package and the other did. Each time we try for something we think will be a good fit, for some reason they hire some idiot from out of state who isn't even certified. Obviously that wasn't the right place for us. Are we suppose to stay where we are and go through this each March? That doesn't sound right, why would we have to go through this year after year in hopes of still having full time employment. Yes, the 2 opportunities are full time, at one school, in the field he wants...but less money. UGH! At this point, I don't even care any more. Happy Mojo has been sucked and there is no reserve. I've looked through pictures of our past and see the smiles and remember the joy life was....where is it now? There has to be an answer....what really is the big picture....I have no clue today!
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