What Matters

This month to say the least has been very emotional for me.  I don't like hospitals, even when I was young"er" I didn't like them.  My fear this last time came true with Josh, and literally scared the (well you fill in the blank) out of me!  Doug and I knew this wouldn't be easy and often wondered if it was the right decision.  3 weeks later, I can say I'm almost positive it was.  We still have many adjustments to make, but Josh is happy and that's all we wanted, was for him to feel better.  

*Insert what I have been thinking about the last 3 weeks*

It's hard sometimes to let things that have festered for whatever amount of time go.  Every surgery or procedure Josh has had, has been difficult in letting go...but we manage to do it.  It's life. I find with other situations, some are a little harder to forget then others, but eventually you just have to shrug your shoulders and use my favorite saying "Whatever".  I was reading about Paul (I know, shocker that I'm actually bringing scripture into a blog) and he really went through it, but he was strong...is he my new hero?  No, but a person that maybe I can try to become by realizing it doesn't matter what others think or say or do, what matters is how you treat them and show them the love and compassion whether it be easy or hard.

Why did I bring that up?  Often in the hospital Doug and I were complimented (not to tut our horns) on how we treated Josh and the love, no matter what was going on, we showed was amazing to them.  Really?  We had individuals that were very compassionate with Josh and others that "didn't want to get their hands messy". When all the doctor's and nurses were working on Josh to get him to breathe, yelling at him and trying to get him to come back, I had a nurse (haven't a clue who she was or never saw her before) come over and make sure I was handling the situation okay and gave me a hug.  I thought how warm that feeling was and the emotions were a bit to much for me to handle on my own.  Do I do that to others? Well, that's what I want to do.  Find that person that might need a hug.  

Yes people will still offend or irritate me, but how I handle it needs to be better, more compassionate. We learned a little bit about this in Stake Conference this past weekend.  I do have a testimony of the Gospel, but am I fully converted?  I need to be and maybe this will help me by being more compassionate no matter what the situation might be.  I know it's not in any way going to be easy, there are some mountains I need to climb and maybe say, "Whatever" to...but at least I'm going to try and that's what matters most.

P.S. Josh is doing great!