Friday, February 4, 2011

Rebuttal to Expectations

My son wrote a blog about expectations, I love his blog, but sometimes he does get it wrong...and this time I think was one of those times....
Maybe I read it wrong, but I need to say a couple of things in defense to it.
He goes on an talks about dreams of the perfect Prince Charming, jobs, marriage and children and then the perfect Princess, get the picture.
So here are my thoughts...When I was in the dating age, I did dream of my Prince charming, what our home would look like and how many perfect children I would have.  In high school I dated, an individual who I thought I was going to marry, you know after the whole mission thing.  He didn't treat me well and neither did his family.  I entered college at a very young age (17) and the first day I meant him. Tall, dark, handsome, and yes an RM. Was he my Prince Charming...I didn't know that at first, not until we started dating and the way he treated me...WOW...I was his princess.  He was my prince, the man I dreamed about when I was younger.  So...we got married in the most beautiful castle (AZ temple)  I had my dream dress, (okay, the colors and flowers...another time, another story) My reception was beautiful and we rode in a horse drawn carriage, so yes...I was a princess with my prince.
My son mentions the perfect job...I don't know if it's out there...but you dream of being happy with what you believe is your perfect job.  If you don't dream about it, then what's the point of going to school and the excitement of getting that first job and your first "real" paycheck.  Heck, if I knew back when Doug was going to school the crap he's been through, hmmmm...Why try?  It's good to have surprises.  Do we have our dream, but it's a home where all are welcomed and love is felt and good food is cooked and yes, there are ups and downs...but that's okay.  A home is what you make it...whether it be your dream house or not.  A Home is what you make it or what you put into it.  I remember going to one of my friends home, it was a trailer home, it didn't matter, the spirit I felt and the pictures (they were pictures from either the Ensign or Desseret  Book) were amazing just taped on her wall.  I wanted a home like that.  Do I still have a dream home...yes.  Will it come to pass, I don't know, maybe and maybe not...but I still like to dream about it.
As for children...I dreamed about perfect children, some of each...boys and little girls...Did my dreams come true...not a chance.  Would I change it...not a chance.  I don't have prodigy children, in fact we just didn't have the funds for many lessons...but we did the best we could and still dream for the best in them and their accomplishments.  Do I dream of having my sons go on missions...YES!  One has served, and his younger two brothers will hopefully have the desire to serve as he did.  Do I dream of them getting married in the temple to their princess...YES!  To be successful in life...YES!  Will that happen?  I hope so...without dreams what can a person do?  Without dreaming of the future what would today be.
I have to think...did I dream of ever having a special son that won't serve a mission, won't ever be in the temple when his brothers get to go threw, won't ever get married?...No, but I do dream of the day when he can communicate with me and tell me how much he loves me.
What is a dream...I think it's a little like faith...without it, where would you be?
~So don't ever STOP dreaming~


Cammie said...

Thanks, Pam. What good perspective you have. I'm glad you shared this.

MOM & DAD said...

You just keep dreaming!!! The rest of us should do the same. Thanks for the reminder. We hope things are going better with each member of your family - no more flu, etc.

Josh said...

Dear Charlie's Mom.

I'm a dreamer. I always have been since as far back as I can remember. I've always felt that I'm a bit peculiar because I thought it was the girl's job to dream like I do. Call me weird but I dream of making "her" so euphorically happy. It is my "happily ever after," seeing that smile through thick and thin. I enjoyed your rebuttal.

I will add this; I've known Charlie for a little over a year now. He's one of my favorite people in the world and I'd say he may not be a "prodigy" but he's amazing. I don't know your other children but based off him alone I trust you and know you've succeeded in part of your dream.

- Josh C

Susanne said...

That was beautiful! How uplifting. What a lovely way to look at life. Thanks for showing me such a happy way of approaching opportunities. You were right--we have to dream or we might not try in the first place.

And, thanks to your prince charming--his younger brother follows his great example.